Jokes and Riddles
Bah-Dum-CHH!!!
The funniest smart-people jokes around!
Jokes and Riddles
by Elliot Starkman
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
RIDDLES:
Two fathers and Two sons walk into a pet store.
They buy 3 dogs.
Each person receives a dog.
How is this possible?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
JOKES:
Why couldn't Dracula's wife get any sleep?
Because of his coffin!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Moses, Jesus, and an old man are golfing.
Moses takes a shot and the golfball goes into the water.
He parts the water and retrieves the ball.
Jesus takes a shot and the golfball goes into the water.
He walks across the water and grabs the ball.
The old man takes a shot, and it almost goes into the water,
but all of a sudden, a trout jumps out of the water and grabs the ball in its mouth.
Then, an eagle swoops down and grabs the trout in midair.
The eagle flies over the hole and the ball drops out of the trouts mouth.
The ball hits the ground and rolls into the hole.
As the trio is walking to the next hole, Moses turns to Jesus and says:
"I hate playing golf with your father."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Knock knock..."
"Who's there?"
"Lettuce"
"That's impossible."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bah-Dum-CHH!!!
The funniest smart-people jokes around!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1. Who was the roundest knight at King Arthur’s table?
-Sir Circumference, he acquired his size from too much pi.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island. What was it really?
-An optical Aleutian.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
3. Why was a rubber band pistol confiscated from algebra class?
-Because it was a weapon of math disruption.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
4. What happened when the butcher backed into the meat grinder?
-He got a little behind in his work
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
5. No matter how much you push the envelope what will it still be?
-Stationery!